A good friend of mine killed himself because of the deeds that we had done overseas. I wish with every bone that I could have him back. He was one of us....a soldier, a brother, a friend. I can not reason why he left us. I tried so hard to pull us back together but that wasn't enough ...Mamma Ski wasn't enough, I wasn't enough.
I have tried to live my life according to the Good Book. But I know that I have failed. I was given a chance to witness to others and failed to do so......My dilemma is, how can one witness to another with the same or worse sins??? If I cannot forgive myself or let God forgive me, how can I advise others of their path? What did my friend die for??? What did my soul die for???
I miss him. My heart aches...bleeding for him....seeing him.....knowing that he is in a place that I could only want and dream to be in.....Life is easier when it is not known about........I never would have thought .............
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