And Time Marches On

My body belongs in a youngster's generation,
Free from gray hairs and age spots,
But there are wrinkles on my shriveled heart,
Symptomatic of life's harsh lessons.
Time is measured by minutes, hours, days.
Years have flown by, carried by everydayness.
Wisdom is gathered from the experiences,
And unfortunately there has been too many.
As I look into my past, moments grab my like
Mile markers that signify a vital turning point.
There are so many forks in this road
That I am not sure I could find my way back
For one more chance to make things right.
So I will continue running this marathon,
Placing one foot in front of the other.
Soon my outside will reflect my weathered inside
As the ghost of past catches up to torment me,
Magnifying the mistakes I have made.

100 Year Flood

Words seem to flood through my mind
Filling spaces that were vacated long ago
Lapping against memories
Eroding my sanity
Creating a wake of devastation
Leaving remnants of life
Scattered like unwanted debris
Forever changing the landscape
The destruction of what was
Now forms the harsh reality of what is

Never Home

I desperately want to go home

But I have yet to find it

Whether it exists somewhere

Or in somebody, I do not know

Everything swirls around me

But the world stays the same

My vision is blurred

Skewing my unknown future

And before too long

The darkness will return

Smothering the light

With the ashes from my soul

So my body will wonder around

Lost in this endless crowd

Left with only one comforting thought

Where I lay my at will always be home

Once Again....

Damn..I fucked up (as usual). I am such a fuck up. I completely lost it the other day. I am not sure how the other parties involved can forgive me. Hell, I can't forgive myself, why should they forgive me? This just proves my theory...I don't need to be here anymore. Why should I when I keep fucking up? I don't even know if I know how to live a normal life. For the last three years I have done nothing but mess things up. God, please help me.

I want to crank the music so loud that it blows my eardrums so I can't hear the ridicule. I want to get rid of this voice inside of me. It's the one that the music can't drown out, no matter the volume, believe me I've tried. So I will go on with this shame, searching for a buffer from this pain. As I cry, I desperately beg for forgiveness and understanding.

My Legacy

My legacy will be fingerprints I leave on your memories,
Looking back at a moments when we used to joke around.
Do you miss the way we used to be?
Loving life with no fears, constantly carefree.

Well that’s forever gone so don’t expect anything more,
Just look forward and move on with the life you planned.
Pretend that everything is alright, full of normality’s,
‘Cause my legacy will be fingerprints I leave on your memories.

The World Today

Falling down to the world below the creatures of seemingly importance, you struggle against odds to live through a lesson within an experience that will expand you mind. But what an expensive price to be credited to a charge card, so that all debts big or small may grow with interest compounded daily; then tear into you unstable mind, torn heart, absent soul, always collecting payment. And at times, the tilting world seems as though some insignificant person whose only objective or function is to occupy space within an overcrowded, undereducated, and demoralized society, will jack up interest rates just to see you suffer.

Again an event takes place somewhere in the nuclear universe that alters you irksome but shielded life. A blazing light emerges that radiates upon various new roads in front of you. Walking through brush, tearing flesh, straining muscles only to find a town that, where in this town, the jury is always rigged but the people know; they always know the truth. However, in this egg-shaped world, the truth whether right or wrong, will help you not. The only thing that may help, but probably won’t, would be people’s all-important opinion on their perspective of what is acceptable in society.

So the advice given around the now box-shaped world is keep your secrets locked up tight; use a dead bolt, key, combination, chain, and anything else desired by your distorted heart to protect yourself. Then ring the bells for the child that cries when innocence dies, for that child will crawl on its hands and knees accumulating bruises, whelps, and scars that will never in an entire lifetime be forgotten. Pray to the God of your choosing that the humble, fragile, innocent child is not you.

Life This Way

She awakes in the morning alone in her bed
Sadden to leave her dreams behind
The daily routine of life will never change
A better life is in her mind

It seems like tomorrow will be a better day
Safe from reality and herself
But here and now will anything change;
Is there a cure to her failing health?

She looks in the mirror
And says that today’s the day
Not for one more minute
Will she live her life this way.

Run

When all fails
Run...
Leave me alone
Control
Anger
Run...
Lack of trust
Violation
Run...
Repeated failure
Everyday
Slammed
Run...
Ghosts escape
Guilt
Consumption
Run.