Damn..I fucked up (as usual). I am such a fuck up. I completely lost it the other day. I am not sure how the other parties involved can forgive me. Hell, I can't forgive myself, why should they forgive me? This just proves my theory...I don't need to be here anymore. Why should I when I keep fucking up? I don't even know if I know how to live a normal life. For the last three years I have done nothing but mess things up. God, please help me.
I want to crank the music so loud that it blows my eardrums so I can't hear the ridicule. I want to get rid of this voice inside of me. It's the one that the music can't drown out, no matter the volume, believe me I've tried. So I will go on with this shame, searching for a buffer from this pain. As I cry, I desperately beg for forgiveness and understanding.
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