Confucius

I can not and will not proceed with the feelings that I have. However, I can not under good conscience reside. What have I become??? I often ask myself this question and as usual I receive no answer. Sometimes I feel that the weight of the world will be too much and I will succumb to the reactions that I have created.

It won't be too long that the weight will bear so much pressure that I will succumb. I just wish that others that know me will understand the turmoil that I must embrace and respect the decision that I have made escape.

The music that plays in my head consumes the thoughts that infiltrated my silence. I wish I could stop.....One beat turns into the next, and that turns into an expression; that is one that I am not willing to give........not for an instance.....not for some fucked up cause......Not for anything other than what it is..........THE END.

Confucius said: "Study the past, if you would divine the future."

Studying the past is wise; however at this time I wish no future....at least not one with me in it. I cannot no matter how hard I try; I cannot get the visions from my mind.